Life seems to be complicated sometimes

You would like to do something about it, but you don’t know how. Or you tried several different ways already, but you’re still not there.

I can help

 
Even if it looks like you have it all: a good job, a nice place to live, a loving relationship, caring friends, healthy children. But you are not as happy as you’re supposed to be.
You’re struggling with letting go of an already ended relationship or finding and starting a new one.
You’re doing well at your job, but you’re not enjoying it as much as you would like to. And you can not really answer the question: what do I want then?
You love your children very much, but you’re feeling insecure about being a good mum or dad. You’re more often irritated or angry with your kids than you want to and you feel guilty about it.
… or you’re just trying to deal with your emotions in certain situations like loneliness, stress, jealousy, low self-esteem or fear.

There’s something hidden beneath all these difficult situations and emotions they come with. Your true self. In other words: The Real You!

And your true self knows very well what you want, who you are, how to love yourself and others and how to live life the way you’ve always wanted to. Full of love, compassion and freedom.

The only thing is, that you’ve lost connection with your true self somewhere along the road. It got stuck beneath a layer of distracting emotions. The good news is, that you can reconnect. And it is not even that hard. I can teach you how and walk you through the process step by step. So that you learn to do it by yourself every time you need to and grab the problem at the root. And then you’ll have it: The Real You!

Interested? Want to know more? You can contact me directly for a free and non-binding introduction.

Coaching and therapy

What do I offer?
 

Basic Coaching Program

This short-term program is for you if you are stuck in certain patterns in your life.

 
 

Therapy / Personal Coaching

Therapy or personal coaching, in other words, is for if you want to dive deep into yourself.

 
 

Online
 

Distance is not an obstacle. Sessions can take place online (e.g. via Skype).

 

This short-term program is for you if you are stuck in certain patterns in your life. You know your behaviour isn't very constructive, and yet you find yourself repeating it over and over again. The emotions which these situations come with are also bothering you. You would like to understand what is actually happening (spoiler alert: your emotional brain takes the control over from your rational brain). And you want practical advice on how to work further on solving the problem on your own. 

This program can also be helpful if you understand that the origin of your patterns lies in the past, but you are not yet ready to deep dive into your feelings. To make a start, you can to develop your self-awareness and learn the first steps of reprogramming your emotional brain.

We are going to do this based on the book "PRI - 3 steps to mastering the art of conscious living" by Ingeborg Bosch. The book contains material on theory and practical tools (exercises, forms, links to video's, tests), which we are going to walk through together. In the sessions, I will explain the instruments, and we will practice on some examples. You can also ask your questions, and we will monitor your progress. Between the sessions, you will be practising to apply the instruments on your own in your everyday life. In the end, you will be able to recognise when your emotional brain is activated, and you will know which tools to use to do something about it. You'll have an action plan to go further with on your own.

This program consists of 6 sessions during 3 months in every second week. 

Sessions paid by employer

Quite often employers are prepared to invest in personal coaching to benefit an employee when:

An employee wants to work on his or her personal development. An employee wishes to improve his or her level of competence in the field of teamwork skills, workload management, stress, conflict handling, giving or taking leadership, and so on. There is a possible threat of long-term illness, excessive stress or a burn-out.

In all of these cases having a series of sessions can be very effective. The contents of the coaching sessions will be determined in collaboration with the client, specifically adapted to the work situation. The privacy on behalf of the client is guaranteed. Before starting the process, the employer will receive a quote, that needs to be signed and returned to me.

Therapy or personal coaching, in other words, is for if you want to dive deep into yourself: break through certain behavioural and emotional patterns in your life that you don't seem to be able to get rid of. You want to get to the root cause of your problem, and you are ready to make significant steps to be able to turn the situation around.

During our sessions, you will get to understand the source of your emotions and behaviours and why you are doing what you are doing. Also, you will learn to use the practical and effective tools to transform your patterns from the inside. You will practise them in your daily life on a clear and specific topic (your problem) that we will formulate together. We will walk through the process together, and  I will help you with the obstacles that you come across.

Therapy / personal coaching consists of 3 phases:

- Self-observation: similar to mindfulness, you'll learn to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours in certain situations. You'll also learn to analyse these situations being able to find what element triggered your reaction exactly

- Reversing your behaviour and feeling: you'll learn specific steps to make to be able to bring back the situation to the feeling, which is the root cause of your problem

- With your awareness focussed on your inside, you will experience where your root cause feeling comes from. This will enable you to separate the old emotional charge from the present situation.  

In the end, you'll reach your goal: you will experience the here and now for what it is! Mostly it is much lighter than how you experience it from your problem's point of view. Your problem is solved, and the result is lasting. Moreover, you will have the tools to use for the rest of your life at the times you need them. This way you'll get to be 'the real you' in more and more situations every day.

This process takes 30-40 sessions on average depending on your problem and your effort and motivation. The sessions usually that take place every second week.

Sessions can take place online (e.g. via Skype). This is a huge benefit if you don't live in the Netherlands or you do, but the distance to the practice is too big. Or if you are short on time and you want to save time on travel.

How do I work?

What can you expect?

As coach and therapist, I am inspired by Ingeborg Bosch and the PRI therapy method she developed. During our sessions, you are going to discover where the unpleasant emotions that you are experiencing in certain situations in your everyday life are coming from.

These are defence mechanisms that we all needed to develop as a child to be able to cope with situations we were too little to be able to handle. As an adult, these mechanisms are still active. We are using them in situations that unconsciously remind us of those once difficult old situations. But in the present, we do not need these mechanisms anymore. We are not as helpless and dependent as we were as children. By learning to recognise and dismantle these defences, we can reconnect with our true self. How exactly? That is what I will teach you.

What are we going to do?

The first step is always a short introductory meeting (possible via Skype or phone too) free of charge. You can tell me about your problem, ask questions and I can tell you more about how we could work on it together. It will also turn out, whether you feel a 'click' or not. This click is important for a successful process. After this meeting, you can decide whether you want to go further or not. If not, I might still be able to refer you to a colleague. If you do want to go further, we will determine together which form of coaching or therapy fits your situation the most.

After starting your process, we are going to see (or Skype) each other every second week in general. During the sessions, you are going to learn to become aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour in certain situations a.k.a. the working of your own defence mechanisms. You are also going to learn how to dismantle them focussing specifically your problem. Between the sessions you are going to have homework, to be able to exercise in practice what you have learned.  I know that it probably doesn't sound very appealing.  Believe me; I would love to change your life without you having to do the work. But unfortunately, I can not. So please be prepared for having to make an effort and making time for yourself to do this. Of course, I am going to be with you all the way and support you with all my powers. We are going to go through this process at your pace, tailor-made to your personal situation.

This way, you are not only going to solve your current problem but also learn a method which you can apply yourself for the rest of your life. In any situation you want to. With my background in mathematics, to be honest, I am fascinated by the beauty of it: when you learn to apply this solution to one situation, you can immediately apply it to all of them. How fantastic is that!

About me

Because I already know the real you…

My name is Katalin Szabó (1981), and I grew up in Hungary. I graduated as an applied mathematician from the Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest. For 10 years I worked for different insurance companies as an actuary and a risk manager both in Hungary and in the Netherlands (For detailed information you can check out my LinkedIn profile). Until I decided to follow my passion and make a major career switch: I became a coach and therapist.

Because I already know the real you...

Since I was a child, I've always believed, that all living creatures have a soul. And all these souls are full of love. Some people might have forgotten about it because they were treated like they were something else. And then they started acting like they indeed were that something else. Not good enough, nervous, busy, irritated, distant etc. But they are really not. 

The more the adults told me about the rules of the (adult) world, the more confused I got. I was not supposed to bother people by asking them questions and trying to understand how they felt and why. Cheering them up was also not allowed. Sharing my childish beliefs was definitely off the table. And of course, I was forbidden to open the door for strangers or even talk to them on the street, because they might have been 'bad' people. What was that about?! I couldn't make sense of it, and it scared me too. 

But I was a good girl, so I did and didn't do everything the way I was told to. In my own time though I was still thinking of letting all these, in my eyes actually sad and lonely people know, that I know who they really are. So they can believe it again themselves and be able to live that way. It seemed so simple to me. Just look into their eyes and tell them: 'I know who you really are. You are a good person full of love.' Treating them as who they really were, would give them the confidence to believe it about themselves again.

I was convinced that this was the way the world should have worked. Not in the way where people were blaming, judging and hurting each other and themselves. That did not seem right. My way was just so much nicer. But all the adults, they were just so stuck in their ways. Who could blame them though? They were old, troubled, busy and tired. No one helped them to see and believe who they really were.

So I gave up on changing the world and life came along. I forgot about these ideas for quite for a while. I did other things so that I could fit in in the adult's world as I was expected to. But then a couple of years later even though I was doing everything properly, I recognised that I still had the feeling, that something was not right. I had a good life: a career, a nice place to live, a loving partner... But I wasn't as happy as I was supposed to be.

So I went into PRI therapy. And surprise. I met the people, my current colleagues, who were actually already doing what I was thinking about so long ago. They helped me to find my way back to the real me. To who I always was. A thinker, a healer, a world-better-maker, full of love and compassion to share. And now I can help you, to find your way back to the real you. To that wonderful person, full of love, whatever that might be for you. You may have forgotten about it, but I didn't.

Practical information

Languages

I speak English, Dutch and Hungarian. Sessions are possible in any of these languages.

Rates

An introductory meeting is free of charge. It usually takes about 30 minutes. You can tell me about your problem, and I can tell you more about how we can work on it together. After this meeting, you can decide whether you would like to go further or not.

A session is 60 minutes long and costs € 95 (incl. VAT).  Sessions usually take place every second week. It means that you can calculate in general with 2 sessions per month.

If you live in a country other than the Netherlands, different rates might be applicable. Please contact me for more information. 

Payment and cancellation

At the end of the month, you receive an invoice by email. Payment is possible via bank transfer within 14 days of the invoice date to the following bank account: 

The Real You

IBAN: NL27 ABNA 0245 5605 21

BIC / SWIFT: ABNANL2A

Changing or cancelling a session is free of charge up to 24 hours prior to the session. In case of changing or cancelling less than 24 hours before the session, the full price will be charged. Except for situations due to unforeseen circumstances such as illness.

Complaints

I am a member of Solo Partners; an organisation specialised in handling complaints. My member ID is 105089. Information on complaints procedures can be found in the practice and included in this document (at the moment only in Dutch).

 

Address of Practice

  • Van Reesstraat 37, 2593PM Den Haag
  • The Netherlands
  • Parking: from Monday to Friday it is paid parking between 9:00 and 14:00. Parking costs €1.70 per hour.
  • Public Transportation: the practice is a 3-minute walk from tram 6 (Stuyvesantplein), 8- minute walk from tram 2 (Oostinje) or 12-minute walk from station Laan van NOI.

Name

Katalin Szabó

Phone number

+31 6 31207392

Skype

szkati13

Email address

katalin.szabo@therealyou.nl